Deputy Biggs asks the crowd of supporters to move upstairs
As I get older, but especially once I became a father, I started to really wonder why our world is so full of death and destruction, of war and greed. Though I am a veteran of the Navy I no longer take lightly willingly doing something that might make another suffer or die, “enemy” or not. I’m fortunate to have never seen that kind of action; I’ve seen enough of others’, though, to know how pointless it all is. The world could use a little less hate and a little more love.
This thought is always on my mind when the topic of what was once called “gay marriage” comes up. I’m a live-and-let-live kind of guy. If two adults want to commit to each other in marriage, what the hell does my opinion matter? Isn’t America about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness? Is there nothing that better embodies those ideals than the right to wed the person you love?
It wasn’t even a week ago that the U.S. Supreme Court quietly declined an opportunity to hear several gay marriage cases pending before it. Doing so let the lower court decisions stand, making those decisions law. The decision surprised everyone, experts alike, and slowly the realization dawned that soon everyone could become legally married in North Carolina.
Rumors began to circulate Friday that one of two federal judges involved in North Carolina’s cases might issue a ruling. My lunch appointment canceled at the last minute, allowing me to change plans and visit the Wake County Courthouse downtown during my lunch break. A crowd of about 50 people waited at the doorstep of the Register of Deeds, frantically refreshing their Twitter feeds in anticipation of the ruling. As I walked into the building, Chad Biggs, the gay Wake County deputy featured in that day’s newspaper article, was walkng out of the building in his deputy uniform. He appeared in the lobby again a few minutes later, dressed in a sport coat.
I spied my friend Betsy Kane across the hallway and chatted with her about what was happening. All around us were couples and supporters, simultaneously giddy and wary that this day they had long awaited might end uneventfully. I snapped photos of those present and took in the excitement. This was a historic day, there was no doubt about it. I might just get to witness history.
A deputy writes down contact info for couples hoping to wed
The head deputy grew more nervous as the crowd began to swell. To keep order, he asked that only those couples hoping to marry should remain in the lobby. Others were to wait in an empty upstairs courtroom until word came down. I shuffled up the stairs along with others to Courtroom 204, where supporters took to the gallery, posed at the judge’s bench, and continued their frantic Twitter refreshes as they waited.
As it approached 1:30 I decided I could no longer ignore my expired parking space and bid goodbye to Betsy. It was not clear by then that anything would happen. Indeed, it was not well after 5 PM that Judge Cogburn signed the order striking down Amendment One. By then the Register of Deeds had closed, though it soon reopened. Crowds cheered minutes later as the first couples were wed. Close to 60 were wed before the office closed at 9 PM.
Since then I have been feeling very proud of my state, even though the decision did not come willingly to the current government. The event has me excited about the future again, that there’s nothing that can’t be accomplished if one is willing to stay focused. And it also has motivated me more than anything to make sure that next month’s election I do all I can to assist those who won this battle and to hold accountable those who prolonged it.
More North Carolinians now know that their love counts, too. Love wins, and what’s not to like about that?