I was on my way home Friday afternoon when I got stuck behind a woman who thought lazily chatting on her cell phone was more important than driving. As this is one of my pet peeves, I thought about how to best get my point across to her.
A hand gesture seemed appropriate, though not the obscene kind, as the point would be lost. I thought holding up my hand and making talking movements would be better, but that still wasn’t right.
Finally, I figured out the perfect foil: a cell phone hand puppet! Imagine a puppet with a phone glued to its ear and a vapid look on its face. Upon encountering a jabbering idiot paying no attention to the road, simply hold up the idiot-resembling puppet and make wild talking gestures, perhaps punctuated with some falsetto “blah, blah, blahs!” It’s sure to get the point across and will be fun to boot!
But wait a minute, you say. What happens if the idiot in question pulls over and gets in your face? No worries, you’ve got deniability! “Oh, sorry man,” you could explain. “Yeah, that was the puppet. He has a mind of his own, you know.” Follow this with a few crazy-as-a-loon expressions and you’re home free.
I see the puppet idea really taking off and providing a good way to communicate your concern about the dangers of cell phones and driving. In fact its almost perfect, except for one tiny little flaw: fumbling with a puppet is as bad as fumbling with a phone.
Whoops. I guess I also need to invent a hands-free puppet.