Bless its heart. The Town of Garner‘s white elephant …er, white deer has got the worst luck. First it gets smacked by a pickup truck just days after Garner names a park after it. Then Garner’s own Crazy Aunt, Alderwoman Janice Stephenson, turns the poor creature (and the town of Garner) into a freak show by having the deer mummified. Now the hapless deer has been killed yet again, having been torched Friday morning.
Its unfortuate the stuffed deer was burned. I think it’s a shame it wasn’t first turned into a Deer Pinata. Think of how much money could have gone to charity (Each swing would cost a buck. Hah!) I’m sure most of Garner would’ve lined up to take a swing.
There’s a lot to like about Garner. It has a small-town feel. Folks are friendly. There’s little crime. Rush-hour traffic is a breeze. Garner’s image was improving nicely, when all of a sudden Stephenson made the deer a cause celebre. The rest of the Triangle pointed and laughed. True, no city funds were used to stuff the deer, but that didn’t help Garner’s reputation. The PR result was the same. “Aww, look. There goes Garner again,” was the refrain.
Alderman Stephenson has made similar boneheaded moves in the past. Her earlier plan to decorate Lake Benson Park included hauling a boulder to it at taxpayer’s expense. When the town rightfully balked, a local business picked up the tab. Just the idea that the town’s coffers were there to fund her pet (heh) projects was ridiculous. In either case, she had no appreciation for how dumb it made the town look.
Town police have turned the arson investigation over to the City-County Bureau of Investigation. I’m betting that’s not so much because they need help solving it, but because like the rest of the town they don’t want anything more to do with the stupid deer! CCBI will likely give the case the priority it deserves (say, after investigating the folks who pull the tags off matresses) and everyone will just move on. Maybe now the Deer That Won’t Die will finally, finally rest in peace.
But I’m not counting on it.